Discombobulation

Poetry
Discombobulation
Standing at a crossroad
Before me I can see two choices
Visualize it with me… a lonely dirt path with the white double sign illuminating the only options
Scary, pick the wrong one and endure a world of hurt and pain before ending back up at this very perplexing place 
…That is if back is possible
Exciting, pick the right one and live a life of seasonal bliss where no troubles follow everything is right and back is a place never to be thought about again 
Seasonal…because eternal bliss is impossible…isn’t it?
Back at this crossroad
Path right leads me to you, 
Path left…you guessed it…takes me far away…away from you
I turn and look back, close my eyes and float back to earlier times
Times when we seemed happy at least we went through like everything was good
I long for this… I reach for it but in the instance it came… it fades away 
Not an option… at least not anymore
This lifeline went out through my own discourse, from mistakes I made myself and am forced to pay for
Pay for in more ways than one… 

They are what I call them… mistakes 
The only thing I can do is apologize but who wants to hear that? Not you!
It doesn’t undo the damage and it surely doesn’t give me the past back

I see irony in path right; the name is trying to tell me it’s what I should do
I would just go forward but continuing like this too disastrous for my health
And if left is wrong, and I ignore the irony it could be that I spend all my life trying to undo the shameful decision trying to get back to this place, to take the right path that has the potential to disappear on my journey
Who said that mistakes can be undone…?
Some you just have to live with and hope that you come to another crossroad and even more hope that it was something that you learned from and don’t do it all over again
Are they a curse or a blessing…?
In the words of Joss Stone- “I’ve got a right to be wrong, my mistakes will make me strong”
But as I stated before, I’ve made mistakes before and it’s what has led me here
However, through this experience I’ve learned more of my recently discovered discombobulation
How I am psychologically twisted and emotionally a wreck
For this realization I have you to thank, and its because of you I have feelings again

HEY DON”T JUDGE ME!

I’ve tried to fool myself but I’ve just found what Joss has been singing the whole time
“I’m spoiled by your love, no matter how I try to change my mind…what’s the point it’s just a waste of time”
So still I stand at this crossroad and wait,
Wait for a sign 
For you to reach and tell me what is best, if taking the road less traveled is worth it or if we are pointless and left is really right
Because after all, I don’t want to make
An Unaffordable Mistake

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