While thumbing thorough my notebook I came across this letter…
This place where I am is so beautiful. It’s a lodge with nice little cabinas. On my right is the river where I sat on the dock and watched the current and listened to fish jump up around me. On my left just behind the trees is the beach. I got up early and walked here, where the first thing I saw was a group of cows relaxing in the sand. “How strange!” I thought. The property owner has a German Shepherd which managed to follow me to the beach. He’s been my company all morning which is good because although I am here with a group, I am alone in that no one else from my job came. It’s pleasant this way in that I am meeting new people, but I can also get time to myself.
Anyway, the whole time here I was thinking about how I wish you were here. We haven’t been talking like we used to and when we do we argue a lot. I know the arguing is my fault, and you don’t deserve it. I don’t know what happens inside me, but all of a sudden I want to annoy you. And I can see you’re reaching a a new level of frustration. You don’t let things go like you used to and your tone is different…
The letter trails off there. I remember being disturbed by the owner of the dwellings in which I was waiting to interview. After the interview my boat arrived to take me back to the main area and my letter was left never to be finished.
My intent was to continue on, apologizing for all that had transpired and begging to be given a chance to make things right. My goal was to try and salvage what was breaking faster than I could grasp. It never happened, and what transpired a short time later was a foreseeable breakup.
And I’m left with a half scribbled piece of paper, a memory of what if?
And, oh yes, the end of another chapter.