The clock strikes 12. My body is present in the new 2015 celebrated in with champagne toasts and a freshly dropped ball in Times Square brought to my couch via television satellite magic. My mind has been teleported to 2012- “our first real date.” I had just returned back to where everything is bigger, eager to slip out of the blanket of panic I wore hours early due to a delayed flight and into a dress fit for the downtown festivities to come.
This would also be the first time I would be a part of the cliché ringing in the year in the arms of someone who loved you- or in our case, someone who was going to grow to love you. Although we didn’t symbolically kiss when the fireworks sounded, I was wrapped in your arms. The crowd around us was large, yet the moment still seemed personal, only interrupted when the rest of our friends joined up with us. Moments later, we rode the bus home with me asleep on your shoulder. The perfect ending.
You asked me why I did it so I told you how I felt
I explained my observations and reservations hoping you would melt
I understand you want me happy but I needed your input too
When you told me nothing, it was thinking I had to do
I asked you why we should be and you hit me with an I don’t know
Which let me know subtly that you were letting me go
I had my hand in your hand and was running toward the door
As I pulled you released it causing me to tumble to the floor
Scared I gathered arguments and threw them at you as I bolted toward the end
You just closed it behind me and with a good night it was fin
You had no counter arguments, which meant you felt my way
All you had to do was think; success was in your lap my heart being the bait
You just said I had the same and noticed it was late
So I just agreed, even though my mind I you should stay
Before I could blink we were really through
you had let me go and even though not true said there was nothing you could do
I’m not giving you all the credit; our demise was ultimately my fault
I’m just letting you know that you played a major part
You had your reservations too; I picked up on your thought flow
Me, I may be a commitaphobe But you, You let me go.